Dear Ellaine,

Thank you llaine for coming into my life. You changed me in ways I never thought possible. Somehow you helped me grow and become better than i was before, it made me see things differently, and taught me so much about love, Thank you for all the time you gave me, for sharing your world with me, and for letting me love you the best way I could. Thank you for your being always concern sa akoa, being "carey" girl to me. Thank you for letting me see the other sides of you, unfiltered you. It made me so happy knowing you were comfortable with me. I’m thankful that you were my first in so many ways my first love, my first to know of what it feels to love someone deeply. You showed me that I am worth or felt that I somehow have worth deserving of love. Kabalo ka, even si mama wala kabalo how messed up my life is. Ikaw ra ang akong gina-share-an because ikaw ra ang make nako nga makashare ug ing-ana. That’s how special you are to me. I could open up about things I never usually talk about. And for that, I’m grateful. Somehow, you helped me let out thoughts I never knew how to express. I made this website for you because I wanted something lasting something you can always come back to when you miss me (i thought my first website would be my portfolio 😂). I'll keep this site run forever, and I hope you’ll visit it from time to time kasi plan nako iupdate pani and ma add og more. Even if I’m no longer part of your life, I will always want the best for you. I’ll be silently cheering you on, I hope you achieve all the dreams you told me about. I still wish I could be there to see it happen. Know that this message isn't goodbye, if you want to talk to me, if you ever need someone, I’m here. Always. When it was our gradball, i wish i had asked you to dance with me, I wish wala ko nag lie na "dili ko ganahan mag dance" even lowkey gi pugos ko ato ninyo sige gihapon kog lie, maybe if ni ingon ko'g other reasons maybe kita jud magka dance ato. maybe ikaw ako ma ask, maybe reason to nako kasi maulaw ko mag ask masayaw tika. Llaine, you were my first love, my greatest love, and my best lesson in my life. I don't regret loving you not for a second. I gave all of myself to you, and I would do it again without hesitation. I’ll take this as a lesson from what happened to us. You’re like a song I’ll always have on repeat forever. I’m sorry if I sometimes think differently. I’m sorry if you lost hope because of me. I’m sorry if I didn’t meet your expectations. I know things haven’t been easy for you, and I’m sorry for holding on longer. Even sige na ka ingon og stop na but ako gahi jud kaayo'g ulo sige giyapon ko pamugos nimo, sige beg, sige cry. It’s sad ba na every time I talk about my feelings, it just lead us to argue. bsag unsa man na, I always end up being the one who's wrong. But wala koy gi say na mali ka ah kasi tama man jud pud ka na sad lang ko kay either maulit ka or mag-away ta ang paignan. If my absence brings you peace, then I will give you that, even if it breaks me. But please don’t ever think that I will stop loving you. Because I won't. and I don't have any plan to. I don’t know when or how, but I believe that if we are meant to find each other again, we will. Maybe not in weeks, maybe not in months, maybe not even in years. But someday, when we’re both better versions of ourselves, maybe we’ll finally get it right. Even though we didn’t have a happy ending, I’m still grateful for you, you were a big part of my life and helped shape who i am today. No matter what happens, you’ll always have a special place in my heart. I hope that if we meet again, I’ll be more better, more mature, and more "MAN". Maybe in another time, in a better version of ourselves na, itama na nato kana na time. Take care always, Llaine! I love you. I always will. 🌸🩷

Yours truly,
Nas